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Archive for October, 2009

Random FB-adding weirdo, and other stuff.

October 25, 2009 4 comments

Quickie post. Real blog coming up soon.

In the interim, marvel at this creature whose bravado and enthusiasm for creating new meaningful life connections are simply astounding. Biblical even:

“HeLLo po paki Add naman po ako Hindi na importante kung KiLaLa nyo ako o Hindi dahiL para naman ito sa Pakikipag Kaibigan eh.”

0916-2007-227/0908-71-55-932.

– Jeffrey Caspe

dude who is just overzealously friendly. The kind that might respond to medication.

dude who is just overzealously friendly. The kind that might respond to medication.

The other stuff is actually an Arab guy who won’t quit calling me since yesterday until I woke up today to his call at 3 in the freaking morning. The first time I answered, even before I can say ‘thisbetterbegood-fuckingwakemeupatfucking7AMgoodorisweartogod’, he asked me who I am, and I was like, you called me who are you blahblah, like you know. And then he said don’t call the police, I saw you City Centre (a mall here in Dubai).

I didn’t pick up after that. And its been a month since I went to that mall.

What, is today, ‘International Fruitcake Nutbag Day’ or something?

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You Could Be Happy

October 13, 2009 4 comments
XX: OMG stop me
YY: from what?
XX: i feel like i might get back together with him
XX: because he’s too sad and im too lonely
YY: do you love him?
XX: no.
XX: i mean, i love him but more like because he loves me so much and i need him and i miss him.
XX: but not the burning passionate love that should be…
XX: and i told him that
YY: unfair nman sa kanya kung bumalik ka for those reasons… kahit alam nya, kahit hes willing to settle for whatever you can give him… unfair sa kanya, dont do it.
XX: i know
XX: that’s why Im asking you to stop me
YY: I feel like this is something that can destroy someone… yung everytime na titingnan ka nya hes gonna know na you don’t feel that way about him… slowly it’ll destroy him… kahit he’s rather have you under any circumstances… don’t do that to him
YY: you dont love him like that but i know you still care for him…do this for him
YY: by doing this for him, youre doing yourself a favor…
YY: you can find that burning passionate love.. and its not gonna happen if youre in a relationship because youre lonely
XX: *atungal baka*
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How NOT to arrive at the harrowing conclusion that you SHOULD kill yourself

October 7, 2009 3 comments

A guide for the budding suicidal types.

Of course, this is just to keep you from actually realising that there is no other recourse for you but self-inflicted demise. This, by any means, will not try to negate the possibly very real fact that you are a good-for-nothing deadbeat who is as useful as a 12-inch dong to a homo with an imperforate anus.

1. Denial. Think, I am cool, people actually like me (and not just because the mere sight of me gives them a feeling of instantaneous superiority).

2. Dont sit at the office and try your damn hardest to recall all the shit that turned your life into one ginormous clusterfuck just to write a blog on it.

3. Don’t read literature by Sylvia Plath, JD Salinger, Virginia Woolf, et al. Also, stuff written by yourself.

4. Total news blackout, especially Philippine news. Also, total Pinoy noontime variety show boycott.

5. Join a sport activity. Or, do drugs, but make sure you are perpetually high.

6. Piss off somebody enough for the asshole to get a hired gun to finish you off. Nothing is ever going to make you want to live so bad more than having somebody pay to kill you. Gives you a sense of relevance.

7. Do not volunteer in a suicide helpline. Those fuckers can get pretty creative, and they make suicide sound cool.

8. Think about all the glorious porn that you will miss when you’re dead. Maria Ozawa’s daughter. Maria Ozawa as MILF. Japanese gangbang flicks WITHOUT those stupid black boxes and pixelations. The possibilities are endless.

9. Or, stop thinking altogether.

10. If all else fails, lobotomy.

Cheers to life! 😀

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GTM FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN!!

October 5, 2009 2 comments

I vote for Good Times Manila (http://goodtimesmanila.com/) for the Bloggers’ Choice Award – National category of the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards.

REASON: Because I slept with Deejay (the blog owner) once and it was fucking beautiful. His blog is nice too, so yeah, whatev.

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When I Googled “what do you do when you’re lonely?”, I knew I had it bad. Having scanned halfway through the generic ‘go out – meet people – indulge – solicitate prostitutes – volunteer in a soup kitchen – masturbate 35x a day’ responses, I heard the alarms of my own sanity, telling me how this is all an exercise in futility. Come on, if the internet had the answer to everything, we all wouldn’t be this deep in shit. We would be all deliriously happy, holding hands and skipping merrily and no amount of premium, grade-A crack will ever match the high. The interwebs will be our cyber-nirvana, and nobody will ever get off of it.

Loneliness. Its a fairly new thing for me. I’ve heard of it, sure, from other people. Some, even going crazy on its account. Personally, it is only now that I am experiencing it first-hand in all my 25 years. I’m basically a happy kid. So yeah.

I actually didn’t identify it as what it is. I tagged it ‘disconnection’ to everything and everyone else. It wasn’t until I was online and saw a photo of Macaulay Culkin (don’t ask what kind of kiddie porn site I was on — i forgot already) and saw how cute he was in ‘Home Alone’ that it dawned on me that my feeling of disconnection was actually just, yeah, loneliness. Its actually not that bad, I mean, some people I see on tv (mostly on Dr. Phil and Oprah and The Biggest Loser) have it as young as 8. So at 25, this is actually pretty normal. I should actually be happy, come to think of it.

But I’m not holding a banner saying so, or doing that stupid happy dance that I do. Because, to be really honest, this blows. Major suck, I’m telling ya. My internet browser history will attest to that. How did I come to this? I might not be the popular girl back then, but I have accumulated a group of friends whose detestable traits are compensated by their talent, bitchiness and love for alcohol and several illegal substances. But then, life happened. We grew up. And with that, came growing apart.

Oh. Bridget Jones’ Diary in on. The ‘The Hours’ of Lonely Women. The ‘Pretty in Pink’ of Girls Who Got Grounded on Prom Night. Holy.Fucking.God.

Well, not so long ago, I made a pact with myself to generally just weed out people who wear negativity as part of their wardrobe from our life. And look where it got me. Great going, Grace. But then again, as I told a friend (who’s a million miles away), I am not afraid to be lonely if the alternative is being with somebody who doesn’t really care.  I don’t want a friend who doesn’t give a flying fuck about me. I am in a country where they say finding someone you can trust even to lend 100 bucks is a task so unbelievably daunting you will have better luck winning the lottery. Im sure that wouldn’t help.

If there is one thing that..

that…

that…

Bloody wanker. I forgot what I was gonna say. Damn movie and Beer. They Always Have This Effect of Nauseating Forgetfulness And Inappropriate Capitalisation of Initial Letters On Me.

So.

I’m lonely and shit like that. If you wanna grab coffee or something, send me a PM. If you make it worth my while, you might get yourself a nice acquiantance in me. It’s pathetic and I’m not even kidding. No perverts please. And, I can give you a ride, but you buy your own coffee.

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