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Posts Tagged ‘paranoid’

my funny – poignant – stupid – paranoid ways to amuse myself while waiting for a taxi

1. in my long agony of waiting for a taxi infront of Mister Baker, Abu Baker Al Siddique branch from 730 in the morning until i finally hail one, which purely depends on luck, i have discovered a  stainless panel in one of the flower shops beside the bakery, you know, the ones that distorts reflections. Only, this panel, makes me look really, really, proportionately slim. when i first i saw my reflection i almost cried. So thats what i’ll look like if im not this fat. And, boy do i look fiiiine. 😀

2. This is the catch. there are two stainless panels, and the other one is really fucked up. i have to stand at a specific position and distance from the ‘good’ panel coz i dont, i will find myself directly looking at a Shrek-esque me staring back at me. You know the thin line between utter bliss and compounded misery? it measures approximately 2.5 inches.

3. Once i was broke, i did not have cash for taxi. so i took the bus. riding the bus totally depresses me. the waiting and the smell really drives me nuts. that day i was particularly unlucky, coz my bus (bus 23) is nowhere to be found. for more than an hour i was busy checking out this really cute and clean-looking guy (a rarity here in Dubai). 30 mins later, i was getting really bored and pissed coz my heels were doing permanent damage to my feet, and thats when the brilliant idea hit. I pretended i was in ‘deal or no deal’. the buses will be the briefcases, and 23 will be the jackpot! and my very own 26K is the cutie guy walking oh so gloriously with his firm buns swingin’ swaggering, deliciously tempting in my imaginary sidewalk stage! and when finally, my bus came! seeing the blinking dotted number 23 dancing and prancing in all its orange splendor, i actually screamed ‘YESSSSSS!’ yeah, sometimes i scare myself too.

4. i heard before i went to Dubai that here, pinays are thought of as pokpoks . even if really youre covered up to the point that you think youre insides are cooking. i also heard that some people actually have codes to ask if a pinay is game or not. what i did not hear is what the code is. so i was sitting in the cab, minding my own paranoia, when the driver asked me all of a sudden, ‘is friday today?’. i said, ‘no, tuesday my friend’. then immediately after that, i thought of what i heard. is ‘is friday today’ actually the code?? am i being picked up by this smelly taxi driver?? maybe the true pokpok ones are supposed to say ‘yes, friday today’, which is why i thought i saw a disappointed look when i told him its tuesday. eww.

5. i think of myself driving in the philippines with my baby brother in the passenger seat. and then i cry. im the middle of the fucking road.

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